Everyone wants to know. Is there some sort of magic available, some formula that can help people stay married? It seems that marriages are breaking up so quickly these days. Surely, there must be something that can be done to enable people to maintain a happy marriage. I think I know what it is. Just close your eyes.
I don’t mean you should go around bumping into things. But just close your eyes to the imperfections in your partner. Don’t constantly think of what is wrong with them pretend you don’t see the negative. It’s been said that love is blind and at first this is often the case; but after a while, we figure out how to see. We see what is wrong, that our partner is getting older, and perhaps they are often short-tempered. So, we decide that we will point these things out. Not a good move. Who wants to hear what is wrong with them? I don’t know about you but negativity never motivated me to change. Love is a much better motivator what we focus on tends to grow. It’s like wearing rose-colored glasses; everything takes on a rosy hue. None of us is perfect. Relationships change over time. Life is much better when I genuinely look for the good in my husband. Computers have many files stored on them. We don’t make a habit of doing our taxes every day neither should we make a habit of remembering how others hurt us. When we forgive a hurt it is like closing our eyes to it. We were hurt, but love allows us to see past the hurt to the value of preserving a relationship. Since love is blind it doesn’t compare the present relationship with others. Beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder. When we truly love another we can find and encourage the good in them.
No magic words to recite, no 10 step program to follow. Just do the simple things you did at first if you want your marriage to last. Talk; really talk to your partner. Don’t send emails or texts. Don’t just talk during the commercials, talk, and then listen to what the other is saying and what they aren’t saying. Love isn’t just expensive gifts. It’s asking the question “How can I make your day better?” Love is communicated through touch; hugs are great, through tone of voice, think before you speak so you avoid sarcasm. Love is blind it doesn’t keep score. It’s not I did this for you so now you owe me. Close your eyes and watch your marriage grow.